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STARRING: Jennifer Schwartz, Hilary Rubens, Steve McDonald, Tracy Lea,
Jeff
McDonald, Kim Pilkington, Janet Housden, Michael F. Glass.
I was at a loss as to how to how I should review this film and, in doing
so, I formed two different opinions. First of all, if you're just an
average movie fan, one who goes to the video store on a regular basis to
rent stuff that you have yet to see, you're gonna view this flick as an
exceptionally rotten B-movie with a very thin plot and bad acting. Think
about the absolute worst movie you have ever seen and chances are, this
one will top it. I can almost guarantee it.
But, most of the people who are already familiar with "Desperate Teenage
Lovedolls" have an understanding as to why this film is considered an
underground classic. It's a document of the early 80's, L.A. punk scene
and pretty much everyone who appeared in this low budget film was
involved in that scene, be it a musician or a fanzine editor. Not that
it's anything to be proud of, but, there's a scene here where one of the
characters actually shoots up. Yeah...like that's impressive. There's a
lot of drug talk in this one, there's sex, there's music, it might not
be that good. But, it's got a certain charm. It's like a bad train
wreck. You really don't wanna look at it because you're afraid of what
you might see. Still, you decide to take a peek and, once you do that,
you can't seem to turn away. Like they all say...everybody loves a train
wreck. The plot...if you wanna call it that...is about three
girls...actually four, with the one who shoots up being a small part of
the whole deal...who have a band, they become famous, one dies, one...I
have no idea what happened to her...and the main character, played by
Jennifer Schwartz, becomes a bum at the end. It's like a home movie from
a bunch of teenage junkies/musicians. I mean, really, the plot is so
thin, I could spend a few hours going through each scene and pointing
out a lot of stupid shit. For example, the rape scene. The one girl gets
raped by a guy who never takes his pants off...and the way the scene
plays out, the only thing of hers that was removed was her shirt...and
she's still got her bra on. A short time later, she's crying about it
and she's bummed out for a few seconds and her friend's like, "Don't
worry about it, we're gonna make it to the top and we'll show 'em we're
not tramps" and she's like "Okay!" If that ain't the cheese on the
sandwich, I don't know what it. The whole movie's like that. But, you
know what the sad part about it is? I actually like it. No shit. It
reminds me of "Monster Dog," the Alice Cooper movie that he'd probably
like us to forget about. It's pure trash, pure cheese, whatever you
wanna call it...and the best part about the whole thing was the music
video.
Not only do you get this film, you also get the trailers, outtakes, a
Redd Kross video and commentary from director David Markey and the
executive producer, Jordan Schwartz. So, you get a little more than the
actual movie. Not a bad deal.
If you're really into the underground scene...and I mean REALLY into
it, check this out. But, if you're looking for a good action/drama movie,
your local video store is the place for you. http://www.wegotpowerfilms.com
© 2003, BBHrdRpt
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